


things left unsaid

by Megakatze (LaufeiaEvans)



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Stuart Trio, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29170023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaufeiaEvans/pseuds/Megakatze
Summary: The three of them really need to get better at communicating.
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong & John Logan Wright III & Derek Seigerson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	things left unsaid

“It’s just that…” Derek pauses, glancing over at Julian warily. He chooses his next words carefully, not wanting him to feel singled out. “Sometimes, when Logan gets into a new relationship, or gets fixated on someone else…it feels like we get left behind. Like he doesn’t have time for us anymore.”

Derek swallows hard, and he catches sight of Logan’s shocked expression out of the corner of his eye.

“Can you try that as an ‘I feel’ statement, Derek?” the therapist says patiently, and Derek takes a deep breath.

“I feel like we’re secondary. Like we don’t matter as much as whoever he's dating, or trying to date. Like we’re only important until someone more interesting comes into the picture.”

Julian stares down at his lap, hands wringing together between his knees. Logan glances incredulously between him and Derek.

“I don’t…” he stammers, his mouth forming around words that don’t come. “That isn’t true,” he says finally, his voice soft.

“I know that,” Derek mutters. “I know. It just…feels like it, sometimes.”

Logan looks down, contemplating, and Julian surprises both of them when he speaks.

“I feel that, too,” he mutters, not looking at either of them. “Sometimes, it…it feels like we’re just here as a substitute for whoever Logan’s dating. Like once he’s found someone, we won’t matter anymore.”

“You _do_ matter,” Logan whispers, and when Derek looks over at him he looks crestfallen. “Both of you. You’re…you’re the most important people in my life, whether I’m dating someone or not.” He lets out a sharp breath, studying Julian’s face carefully. Julian doesn’t look at him. “But you left,” he says, and Julian closes his eyes. “When I was with Blaine. You left, and it…I felt like you didn’t care anymore. Like you didn’t need us.”

“Don’t turn this on me,” Julian mutters, but the therapist cuts him off.

“Logan, you make a good point, and we can talk about that as well.” She flashes him a serious expression, though her eyes are kind, and Logan shrinks back into his seat. “But for now, let’s focus on what Derek and Julian are saying. You say you don’t feel that your friends are less important than the person you’re interested in romantically?”

“No!” Logan says defensively, raising his voice, but at her answering glance he draws back, cutting himself off. He sighs, pausing for a long moment before speaking again. “No, I…I don’t. I didn’t realize it seemed like I did.”

“Okay. Well, let’s talk about that.” She glances quickly down at her notebook, and Derek flashes Logan a reassuring look. “Logan, you’ve said before that you feel you haven’t expressed your appreciation for your friends enough. Do you think that might have something to do with how they feel about your relationships?”

Logan is quiet for a long time. “Maybe,” he says finally, his voice small and distant.

“Okay,” their therapist says softly. “Now, I know we’ve talked about learning to show affection to each other without deflecting with insults or jokes. So while we’re here, Logan, why don’t you take some time to share some things you do appreciate about your friends? Without the insults, this time.”

Logan glances warily between Julian and Derek, and Derek shifts nervously in his seat.

“…Okay,” Logan says slowly, and the therapist sits back, waiting for him to speak. He pauses, glancing down at his lap and wringing his hands. “Well, I guess…Julian, I know you did a lot to try to help me with Blaine. And I…I guess I didn’t realize it, at the time. But that was…” He trails off, swallowing hard, and Julian looks up at him through the hair falling in his face. “And you guys stayed. Both of you, even after…all that.” He sighs heavily, biting his lip and looking right at Julian. “Yeah, you left, but you did come back. You always came back.”

Julian looks down at his feet. He doesn’t react, but Derek can see the faint blush creeping over his cheeks.

“We’re your friends, Lo,” Derek says quietly, and Logan blinks like he’s on the verge of tears. “We’re not going to just leave you.”

“I know,” he whispers, and he ducks his head, screwing his eyes shut. He takes a deep, shaky breath. “I know, and I…I appreciate that so much. I do.”

“I’m sorry I left,” Julian says suddenly, and they both turn to look at him. He coughs. “I’m…I really didn’t…” He stammers a little, and they both wait patiently for him to continue. Finally, he takes a breath and raises his head to meet Logan’s eyes. “I didn’t think you’d care. It didn’t seem like you needed us anymore, once you were with Blaine. I thought…”

Logan shakes his head, and as soon as Julian trails off, he cuts in. “I did care,” he says, his voice thick. Derek feels his own throat tightening. ”I thought _you_ didn’t need _us_.”

Julian laughs humorlessly. He doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t have to. They all know the truth in that regard.

“It wasn’t just you, though,” Logan mutters, and his eyes are definitely misty now. He looks over at Derek, who shrinks back into his seat. ”D, you were there the whole time, and I still…” He pauses, hastily scrubbing a hand over his face. The therapist wordlessly hands him a box of tissues from the side table. He takes one, quickly wiping his eyes, and as Derek watches he feels like maybe he should say something, but Logan cuts in before he has the chance. “You’re always trying to clean up my messes. Both of ours, really, but mostly mine.” He glances quickly at Julian, who nods slightly in agreement. “And I feel like…I got used to that, I guess, and I didn’t really appreciate everything you were doing for me. I took you for granted, and I…I’m sorry.”

Derek sniffs, and without looking at either of them Julian grabs a tissue and hands it to him.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Derek mutters, halfheartedly wiping his nose.

“It doesn’t matter,” Logan says, a little more firmly. Derek stills. “You’ve got your own crap to deal with. Even before the whole… _thing_ with Julian,” he says, pointedly avoiding mentioning the subject directly. He clears his throat uncomfortably. “I mean, Jesus, you’re halfway to a breakdown by now just with school alone. You’re doing so much. You shouldn’t have to handle all of my crap on top of that.” His voice cracks, and he pauses, swallowing hard. Derek blinks. “But…you do, all the time. And…I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it.”

Derek stares at him for a moment in stunned silence. He hadn’t been expecting this from Logan, and he isn’t sure what to say in response. But before he can even try, Julian cuts him off.

“He’s right, D,” he says, his voice a little rough. He glances up at Derek with the ghost of a smile. “It’s like I told you before. You’re our friend, not our assistant.”

Logan nods a little uncomfortably. “Yeah,” he says.

Derek blinks, his throat tightening as his eyes well up with tears. He tries to fight it, but they’re both looking at him with such genuine concern that he can’t quite stop himself. He chokes out a sob, and Julian immediately shifts closer to him, resting one hand on his knee. His cheeks flushing, Derek takes it, screwing his eyes shut and ducking his head as Julian rubs his thumb in circles over the back of his hand.

“Okay,” the therapist says softly, stepping in to steer the conversation back on track. Derek takes a deep, shaky breath, and raises his head to look at her. She gives him a warm smile. “It sounds like there’s been a lot of miscommunication between you three. This has been a great start, but for next week, I’d like you all to do some thinking about what I asked Logan today. You boys have a lot to appreciate about each other. It would go a long way if you could start expressing that more.”

Staring down at the floor, Logan nods. “I think so too,” he says softly.

“Okay,” Julian agrees.

Still not quite trusting his voice, Derek just nods. Julian gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“If you have the chance, try writing some things down. You don’t need to share them all with me, but definitely try to share with each other.” She sets down her clipboard and gets to her feet, and the three of them follow suit, taking a moment to compose themselves before stepping outside. “Nice job this week,” she says with a warm smile, and Derek gives her a curt nod.

“Thanks,” Logan mumbles, and he carefully steps behind Julian to lead them both out to the hallway.

Later that week, they will end up writing letters to each other. They’ll take the time to put into words some of the things they’ve been too afraid to say out loud, the feelings they’ve kept hidden behind half-joking insults and feigned disinterest. But for right now, they’re perfectly comfortable with the silence as Logan sidles up to Derek, throwing his arm around his shoulders and pulling him into his side. Derek laughs nervously, still sniffling a little as he blinks the tears from his eyes. Julian’s hand is still in his, a comforting presence as they walk down the hall, and the three of them unconsciously shift closer together as they step out into the crisp afternoon air.

“Love you idiots,” Derek mumbles, and Logan just snickers. Julian reaches over to ruffle Derek’s hair, and Derek scowls, leaning against Logan’s shoulder as he jokingly pulls away. Logan’s arm tightens around him, and Julian squeezes his hand, the two of them dragging him along with them in spite of his halfhearted protests.

Some things may take time, but if they’re sure of anything, it’s that they’re going to be alright.


End file.
